Saturday, August 21, 2010

New Mom Entitlement

I am a consumer, and as such, am entitled to certain perks and privileges from the establishments which I frequent. If I go to a coffee shop, I get napkins for use while I enjoy my caffeinated ambrosia. At a park, there are water fountains available to quench my playground-induced thirst. A mass retailer like Target provides baskets and carts for shoppers' use. So, clearly, these perks and privileges vary from establishment to establishment. One thing that most of them have in common, however, are restroom facilities. People need to pee while they do things like drink coffee, hike and shop for cheap plastic crap. And, by God, pee they shall! Unless, of course, you're a baby.

Realization: it is nearly impossible to find a public changing table when you need one. Seriously, you guys? It's maybe a couple hundred bucks for the hunk of plastic and the install, that's it. Think of all the customers and patrons that you could please with a simple bit of molded plastic bolted to the wall of your already less-than-stellar ladies' or men's room. But, no, I'm left to my own devices which is one of the following two options:

Option 1 - I change my baby's diaper in my car. Not really and option for me, though, since I drive a two-door car with limited trunk space. I can't climb into the backseat to change her diaper there, and the entire trunk is full with a stroller the size of Optimus Prime and other baby accoutrements. So, I can't use that flat surface, either.

Option 2 - I get angry and change her diaper on a table/on the slide/in the middle of frozen foods just to stick it to the cheap and ageist Man. I haven't done this yet, but I can feel it coming on and let me tell you: vengeance feels good.

So what's a new mom to do? I just got into the swing of changing her diaper at home, what on earth am I supposed to do in public with no changing table? Is there some part of the New Mom Handbook that addresses this? I must have skipped over it! Somebody, quick! Link me to the Spark Notes!

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